Lockdown Birthday!

So this month was a big one for me – I turned 30!

Yes, I said it, and I still can’t believe it! But one thing is for certain, I don’t feel 30. I mean, how are you supposed to feel at 30? Age is just a number right? How are you supposed to feel at any age? I think you are as young as you feel, and growing older is a blessing that we should all be grateful for.

I think we all feel as young men and women, especially in this day and age, that there is so much pressure to be a certain someone, or achieve a certain goal by the time your 30, but there is no such thing as perfection. We can’t compare our journey to someone else’s, because this only makes us depressed, and trust me I have been that person to always compare myself to others, thinking I was at a dead end in life because I have a hidden illness, that I was not moving forward, only backwards – But actually, the time I had to take out for myself during the periods of being unwell, meant I could refocus my attention on my future and explore new interests, which also became a form of therapy for me. My diagnosis and being in my twenties actually helped me realise that creative writing is my passion, which led me to apply for the Degree I am now studying in the Creative Arts. You can be anyone you want to be, and there is no time limit on when your inspiration will come, whatever your age. Vera Wang didn’t design her first wedding dress till she was 40, remember that.

However, one thing I did not expect for this year was to be entering my 30s in lockdown. My original plan was to go abroad with a big group of family and friends and celebrate until our hearts were content, while sipping on some sangrias in a swanky rooftop restaurant, maybe even soaking up some sun, but unfortunately my dream to welcome club 30 into my life didn’t pan out that way.

Due to Covid19 devastating the entire world and still relentlessly destroying lives, somehow I felt safer being at home, and knowing my friends and family were safe at home, as they are dotted all over the globe. Sadly, my sister was in isolation two hours away from me, and I haven’t seen her since May, so it was difficult to accept she wouldn’t be celebrating my 30th with me. I did spend my actual birthday with my mum, dad and brother, who made sure I had the best day possible at home, with the best cake and of course plenty of healthy day time bubbles as you do! (Tipsy giggles). Along with that I had lots cards and banners with 30 on to remind me of my new age – But I actually have to admit I had the best time with my family, and we even video-called my sister later on in the evening so it was as if she was having a drink with us, which made my day complete!

I was completely spoilt by those closest to me, and I think that during these hard times, staying strong and remaining together for support is so important for our mental health and wellbeing, and I am so lucky I didn’t have to spend it alone. I don’t have a lot of close friends, but I can count of my family any time, so I always count my blessings each and every day, what is there to be ungrateful for?

It would be so easy for me to complain about the fact I couldn’t celebrate my birthday the way I wanted to, or even go anywhere exciting, but what I have realised is you don’t need all that fancy stuff to be happy, the big expensive venues with loads of people attending, or an exotic holiday with endless sun soaked beaches, (all though that would be nice next year). The most important thing to note is that you can feel content wherever you are, with the simplest of things, the smallest circle of people around you, and a house full of love.